Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
