Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
