Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
we're so committed to being not committed
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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