We won't sleep together?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
