she was so not down for the gang bang
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
