I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I would fuck him just for his dog
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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