Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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