so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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