Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
