i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
