The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
