I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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