All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
After last night, I could never be a politician.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
She announced her abortion via fbk
accomplished twins. life is a go
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
