Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
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She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
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Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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