My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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