It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Randomize
