Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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