this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
