Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
