And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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