hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
