Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
