addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
