i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
