so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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