This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
