yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
