You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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