we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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