I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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