i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
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