I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
