all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
