Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
