something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
