seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
