New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I am one with the molecules
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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