ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
