No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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