I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
