party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
