I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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