Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
