quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
