Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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