Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
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