I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
