my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
