My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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