Capitaan dildo arrescate!
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize