I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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