So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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