He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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