I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
