If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
