I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
