Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
