I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
