Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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