You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
