I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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