Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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