College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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