My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
