one word: firstdatebathroomanal
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
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