the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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