Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
