I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
You may now shotgun with the bride
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
