I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
