you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
