woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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