Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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