I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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