Sponge bath it is.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
