She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
